of Fat Cats and Skinny Dogs
Once upon a time in the land of Pyramid, Schemesancomsum the Pharaoh suffered from a recurring dream. This blew his mind, since he usually changed dreams as often as underwear – well, that of other’s mostly since he felt extraneous garments interfered with the conduct of political affairs. So, when none of his interns could satisfy his curiosity regarding these dreams or the interpretation thereof, he sought out Queen Hilloreopatra. She suggested the Pharaoh consult with her pal, Joey, spiritual advisor and tennis coach, who she kept on a short leash for her own private dreams.
Joe, immediately dug the scene and promised to lay out the interpretation
thereof. The dream was of seven cash cows grown
exceedingly fat. Suddenly, fat
cats came upon the scene and consumed the cash cows. As soon as they had
finished, faster than you can call 911, the dream was filled with emaciated
hound dogs, baying at the Moon and snapping at the fat cats. One cat, with
particularly large ears, calmed them by showing how milk trickled down from a
small hole in a very large bowl -- a VERY small hole.
Dogs being dogs and not cats, they were easily led aboard a vehicle, marked up with Orwellian hoof marks, and hauled off to the Holy Grail Dog Track where they contented themselves barking round and round chasing rabbits but never quite catching up to them.
"Ah," moaned Joey, as she applied a coat of many colors to her nails, "that’s
really weird. However, the interpretation is clear as the nose on, uh, let’s not
even GO there. The cash cows represent seven years of
abundance and the skinny
dogs are ensuing years of economic downturn. To save the kingdom, you must
gather up all the excess so the granaries will be overflowing for the times when
times are tough. Then, during the Bear Market, the excess can be rationed
equally to one and all."
"But, why should we care if the under funded are unprepared," complained the Queen? This upset Pharaoh Schemesancomsum who cared about his people -- collectively and individually. In return, most winked right back -- except for the be-robed Council of Phundieduddies. So, he banished the queen from public appearances. Then, with a sly wink, he appointed Joey to handle things for him; after which he called for his cigar and cherry pie, and all was well, until...
Until when, in the final year of abundance, those be-robed wiseguys seized
control and appointed a new
pharaoh. The very first thing Pharaoh Goodolboy II
decreed was that this over abundance belonged to the cats responsible for it.
"After all," he promised while fingering a sign of the cross behind his back,
"how best to support all those dogs but by maintaining the status of cats?"
So, the cash cows became guests of honor at a BBQ held for his 400 of Goodolboy’s closest buddies. The rest of the kingdom was reduced to skinny dogs left with nothing – nothing but the occasional bone tossed to them in exchange for yapping about in pursuit of one Holy Grail after another. And, each time a rabbit would break down, Lord High Priest Rumsphundie would hold a press conference. "Should I run another on? You bet. How long can I keep this up? Don’t ask. Should you all just sit down and shut up?" ~~~~~~~~~~~ Don’t bet on it!.
